eve

It's CNY eve. And tomorrow I'm going to bai nian! Or as the cynical put it, collect angpow. Today was pretty slack but I actually did some work you know! Haha.

Instead of traditional steamboat for tuan yuan fan we did some sukiyaki thing is a japanese style type of thing. We still use the same steamboat thingie in the centre but with different stuff put inside mainly beef pork leek onions mushrooms tofu into some sauce. We did it before on other Chinese New Years. Haha.

Hope CNY keeps my mind off things. There's something about school that you can't wait for it to end but when it does you think of going back again. Or perhaps it's just the limited time we have left as a class, with an already dwindled number from the withdrawals.

You can't have your cake and eat it too. I like that phrase. But it doesn't really make sense. Nothing does anyway.

is it wrong to change?

well everyone's posting music videos from youtube! so i guess i'll do the same.

trying to make a move just to stay in the game.


edit: haha I've finally changed blog address, sorry for always moving around. But everybody's changing! So I guess it's better now as the address is easier to type and to remember.

he's home!

Haha just came home from the airport from fetching Dad!

Dad's finally home from his long trip. So glad. And he bought fried worms which I won't eat. :)

chinese new year

Okay anyway it's time to be happy erm it was Chinese New Year celebration today haha I feel the concert was better than normal VS ones. I especially liked the funny skits and cross-cultural stuff they did. And for once Phobos not last, but third. It's sad how we've resigned to the fate of losing that no phobos people in our LT bothered to cheer when the judges did the rar-rar stuff with all the houses. And today would be the last time I'll see Jonathan in school, after which he'll go off to TP. We'll miss you buddy. From what I thought he was from my first impression of him as a Beng to the Jonathan I know now is vastly different. He's a very nice guy. Don't know how else to put it.

After the celebration went back to VS with a group of our MJ used-to-be-in-VS guys. It was mostly Ming Hao and I who were together trying to find teachers. Saw Mr Oh who's having his last day in VS and now moving on to MOE. He's quite pro, considering how young he is. Mr Maran came to me and welcomed me back with a handshake though he doesn't know me at all so it was quite surprising but nice. We also met Mdm Ernie outside the staff room and talked to her for a while. Talked to Mdm Nabilah for a while too, after we found her at the back of the hall. It's nice to see her again.

After that Ming Hao and I went to finally try the famous Bedok Interchange hawker centre Mee Soto stall's Mee Rebus. So that's one thing I finally tried. We talked a lot on the way there and while eating. Like about MJ and our classes haven't really talked with him in quite a while actually. Then as there were not enough tables two men came to sit at our table. One of them started giving advice to us regarding health at first, starting with telling us about how Bandung is bad to drink because of colouring and he went on about other things about health, then into life in general. Quite good as Ming Hao put it, "lunch entertainment" and we found that he seemed to make sense except in some parts of his advice. He was like some old philosopher.

Then we made our way home. As the mrt passed tanah merah station, I thought about one thing I wanted to do before I die. Jump over the middle gap for the third mrt train. Haha.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

non sense

The previous post was one of those posts that don't really make sense to you people at all. It's useless to post stuff that other people can't understand right? But it's because I can't understand it either and it's hard to put in words, because words are limited. But it's lame to post in code only I can understand. So now I'll post stuff that don't seem so abstract. Or maybe not.

There's something about me that's changing. I notice that at some periods of the day I just lapse into a quiet state of emoness or sianzation (haha justin) that is not good. Maybe I'm just tired but this never happened to me so often. And also sometimes I feel like I couldn't care less of what happens around me. Maybe it's JC life or something but I don't know what it is. Even Di Wei noticed and asked me why I so sad after choir practice on wednesday but I was not sad, I was just something. It's that feeling that comes when the party's over and you're clearing up.

And also it's not easy to leave. They're not called friends for nothing. Time and again I find myself dwelling on the fact that I'm leaving. And there is a bit of pain and you try to hide it and say move along but no you're going the VJ and everyone's going everywhere else too. It's not short enough that you don't bother, and it's not long enough that you can be sure you'll be able to see them again in life like with you secondary school friends for two years. And Randy's not making it any better by asking me why I go VJ like everyday. (No lah just joking lah Randy haha).

I keep on telling others not to be sad and it's okay and try to give hope to everyone but end up feeling down sometimes. Is like oxidising agents get reduced. Okay lame haha HAPPY LAH!

lesser than three

some things you can't understand some things you can.

some things you can't trust some things you can.

just ignore those things you can't i guess.

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happy valentine's day everyone!

just now

Standard BBQ gatherings except,

The boys slacked other than jonathan and me who started fire. Plus both of us and cheng kai went early to help vijay with the stuff. After that we slacked.

I got dunked.

move along

I've made my choice. In econs I learnt that there's choice and opportunity cost. The opportunity cost quite big ah.

But ohwells. Got to get used to it.

so how now brown cow?

Where to go? That's been the question on my mind.

After the whole of yesterday talking to people, most likely I'll be going to VJ. Mdm Nabilah suggested trying for RJ, gerry said can try for RJ too. That's perhaps the logical thing to do if you're trying to go to the best places. But well it's so far from home and I'm not trying to go to the best place and maybe end up killing myself. Also don't want to waste time doing appeals. So we'll leave John to sorang in his raffles. Haha you six-pointer John! (And Daniel too!) But knowing him he'll just make new friends with people like the cleaner and foodstall aunties so I guess he won't be lonely.

So VJ is the logical place to go. Well yeah. And about the rumours of superficiality of the people in VJ and RJ gerry said something like there's no such thing as a bad JC you'll get to find your own group of friends that you can trust. I'll have many of my VS classmates and schoolmates there anyway and I'll have jabeeez! who's probably going to VJ now and leaving John as our only class's rafflesian.

But MJ's been a nice place with really nice people and that's one part of MJ I can't bear to leave. But well everyone treats it as VJ to be the logical thing to do, even MJ people can quickly assume I'll be dashing off to VJ. I'll talk to them on monday and perhaps see how they're going to make their decisions.

Am I logical? Perhaps I'll go VJ lah. But reluctantly, and I'll remember you guys.

Sian must reorientate and go through everything all over again.

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Thank you Mdm Nabilah for treating us all to Swensens.
Thank you everyone for your congratulations.
Thank you Lord.

happy?

It's so surreal getting 6 points. Getting 6 points is weird. Because I'm not used to having these type of results. I'm elated because that was my goal but now I have to make a choice on whether to stay or go.

And it's stupid when you get 6 points because you feel so happy yet some people feel so sad. And you don't know how to break the news and don't want to sound too happy or arrogant if the person didn't get that good. Because everyone wants better points. So it's not that happy an affair and it ends up with you trying to console those people and it sounds so fake although you truly care with all your heart. And you can't be truely happy when your friends are not happy. And you feel like you have stolen something from them, you were the winner that made them lose, you were the one that shifted the bell curve. And especially for those who did exceptionally well for prelims and not that well this time.

I also don't want everything getting to my head and being proud because no matter how humble you try to be you're so happy and so proud of how well you've done. So a pride problem comes along.

Argh don't be sad people please don't be like that please be happy because wherever you go God has a plan for you.

I'm glad about this and thank God for this in every victory let it be said of me my source of strength my source of hope is Christ alone.

later

Unusual of me to blog in the morning. But anyway later got results. Results results results results. Aiyah don't anxious hor. Everything will be fine one. But most likely the people that I am assuring that are reading this has already got their results. Don't sad lah. Just make the most out of it and God will make something happen where you go. Or congratulations that you could get into the JC of your choice!

Most of the people in my CG was in a sombre mood yesterday and it was evident in our compass lesson. Although it was not like everyone so emo. Some jokes were still cracked here and there but we'll just relapse into our respective moods. Or maybe it was just me.

07S411 it's been nice in MJ with you guys. As we go our separate ways, we'll stay together in our memories okay? Most likely I'm staying in MJ if I can make it. But will most probably leave for VJ with exceptionally good points. That's why it's weird because I'm hoping for good points and not exceptionally good points. Anyway BBQ this monday I'm sorry I couldn't meet for CG dinner we get to meet again!

faux pas

Bad things that happened today.

1. Big fat mouth again.

2. Moody-bug bit me after chinese lesson. But it ended up alright from PE so at least ended the day okay.

3. Bad scratches on guitar because I placed it on my handphone and the metal D-pad scratched it and I didn't know because it was all on my bed.

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It's good to get rid of:
Being too image conscious
Insecurity
Being materialistic
Narcissism

Jesus please take my burdens.

It's like so easy to get happy over orange scream city note pad and new adidas running shoes and new shirts. You neglect the blessings and your friends until their gone and faded away from your life. You don't know whether to move on. The memories can't be brought back to reality you can't preserve the moment and you can't keep on using the same excuses because it'll all be over soon.

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But should I stumble again, I'm caught in Your grace.

huh

I think I'm the only one not following this ASEAN football championship thing. I didn't watch any of the matches and I only realised about Singapore winning after signing in and seeing the numerous MSN nicks. So I confirmed by turning on CNA and it was under "LATEST". So I guess...Go Singapore! Haha.

Dad just called home he's in Bangkok now before on his mission trip with the TRACkers. God please keep then safe as they enter Laos. He left on the 2nd and will be back only on the 16th. Man.

perhaps not.

I think it's not time yet. But the frequency of the posts will be much less. And I feel like changing the blog address already. It sounds too grand. Already the "the" in the address makes it seem like I'm trying to make myself feel important. Like "The Chinese High School".

It's like every year I shift blog. Perhaps not this time.

And I notice I keep on using words like "perhaps"," should", "I think".

I'm too fickle and indecisive.

Stupid.