there's no need to blog

When you don't feel like it.

Is there? Somehow you feel the need to update.

You know how it seems that everyone looks so emo nowadays? We're not emo, we're just tired.

(a post)

It's been a long time.

1 week holiday:

no holiday homework thank goodness

choir camp was fun

one day family trip to Malaysia was fun
bridge to terabithia is a good movie

church captain's ball games provided some exercise


today was the first day of school

literature is doing great expectations by charles dickens and wilfred owen's war poetry
they showed clips of a film version of regeneration by pat barker which i read around sec 2

chinese was okay

didn't understand chemistry at all

understood math a bit

literature tutorial was so cheem

had to write and essay for GP

choir practice

tired.

have a little faith

After the auditions yesterday I kept on thinking about whether I got into choir. And when they didn't call by the night time, I was in despair. I desperately prayed to God to let me in, and deliberately ignored the fact that He knew what was best for me. Even during service, my mind continued to dwell on the fact that I hadn't received a call.

This morning it was the only thing on my mind, and I was real sad. Then when my lunch just got served I had just given up, I got the call to tell me that I was in. And that made me so happy.

I guess this whole episode was really a test of my faith...did I go to God only in my times of need or do I really trust Him with my life. And even by blessing me with so much, I realised that I've not been spending enough time to Him. And yet He still gives me the things that I want.

So I have to learn to stop antagonising and leave it all to Him. Because it'll always turn out fine.

veejaycee

Well my worst fears didn't come through because my new class is as fun-loving and friendly and we could click easily. So I'm glad and thank God that I have such a good class in VJC too. Jian Han who was in my chinese class in VS is also in my class here, haha.

Well VJC a school that can really package itself well to outsiders because parts of the school can look real beautiful. Our collar pin also quite glam, haha. But the lecture theatres I feel are not as good as MJ ones except that the tables are bigger. And every tutorial class room has aircon!

VJC's pace is much faster as the things they taught in chem and math yesterday were things I had never seen before. So I got alot of catching up to do. And I got to go for makeup lessons for second-intakers. Man.

Met John yesterday as he crashed VJ around the time my lessons ended. Pleasant surprise and it was real nice to see him after so long. And that faux pas wore the VJ badge wrongly!

Trying for VJ choir later, and if I can get in, hope that I can be part of SYF.

come to the right side

Somehow it doesn't seem so right. I'm supposed to be in great anticipation of tomorrow but I'm not. I don't know what possessed me as a young Sec 3 victorian boy to feel that VJC is the only place I could ever go.

But the thing is I felt quite at home in MJC. But it's only because some of the people that you get to meet I guess. And it's only been three months. So I hope VJC will have the same type of people that I can be with, trust, and love.

There'll be so many familiar faces, which is weird, but so nice at the same time. Oh well.

And maybe, I'll find out // A way to make it back someday

sometimes

why must you end up in the middle of it all.

you brought this upon yourself, jeremy.

heart of worship

One thing that we struggle today in modern churches is focusing on our heart of worship, and not on things like music during worship. Just did duty for AVA yesterday's saturday night, and one key thing was how our hearts have to be right for God. It's both an external and internal struggle we all have. Because music is beautiful. But it's only a tool. Don't focus too much on the technicals. And do it all for God's glory, not yours.

Nicholas let me listen to this song by Casting Crowns on the way to choir on Saturday. Incidentally Jane quoted it on the same day on MSN and I didn't know where it came from till I searched.

Stained Glass Masquerade - Casting Crowns

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the heart again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

last time

Just came back from the choir thingie at siglap cc with AJC and VJC. That would have been the first and last time I performed those songs with MJC. And sadly it was not very good because I was nervous.

VJ blew us away with their songs. I don't know if I can make it to VJ choir, and if I can, how much time and commitment it may take up. And also if I can find as fun-loving and friendly a section as the bass section in MJ. All of them are real nice people. And today would be the last time I get to see them. Plus Vijay and Melanie too.

Yesterday was real sad after we went to see the 'A' Level results. We were all just hanging around wanting to go home but not wanting to part. And it was raining heavily, which was so representative of the mood. We were hugging each other before we parted. Melanie all gave us some "big sister" words of parting haha. Goodbye all.

So after choir today I went home with Nicholas, my SL. First and last time we were going to eat lunch together. He had to go to church earlier, Shalom BP, the one behind my house.

So with that it was my last time of any formal contact with MJ.

Ohwells.

again.

why? just after three months.

goodbye's the most important word

Haven't been blogging for so long. I didn't feel like blogging much over the past weeks and by the time I did yesterday, my computer malfunctioned. That's my excuse. I'm blogging from my older computer now.

Haha Jonathan came back.

Tomorrow could be our last formal day together as a class if Monday's a holiday due to good 'A' Level results. It's sad isn't it. We were our usual happy class today though it seemed like the fact that it's the second last day kept entering our minds. Or maybe just me. It's also weird because I'm waiting in anticipation of VJC but at the same time feel that I don't want to leave.

Then when it was compass lesson everyone started feeling emo when we talked about how we were going to separate soon.

I feel that a goodbye is important. I don't really know why. Last year when I went to the orpahanage in China I didn't like it when we didn't get to say proper goodbyes on what was supposed to be our last night, though we did manage to ask to go back another time to meet them again and say goodbye, so that was good. I feel you need that closure. Though what I find lame about the three months is that it's over when it has barely begun.

During compass lesson, Ms Loh asked those of us that are confirmed to be leaving to say some words to our class, and I that included me. And perhaps it was just too sudden or perhaps I was just not confident enough of saying what I felt because I'm not as good in expressing myself in speech and in person than in writing? So here goes.


To 07s411:

It's been a really fun term with you guys and I feel happy in terms of the quality friendships made and I'm glad to have met you fun-loving people. No day was boring and I enjoyed the company of all of you. Though the all in this case doesn't really refer to all, but most of you. Didn't really get to interact with some of you and perhaps with more time it would have been possible for our class to get to know one another better. But I still wish you all the best wherever you are going and always be happy.

Also a thank you to the teachers that have taught us. I feel blessed to have such good teachers and I mean it. Especially Ms Loh who I feel has been a real good CT. Thanks for being there providing a listening ear for the class during this period too. And thanks teachers for putting up with our nonsense! Haha.

So I guess it's goodbye for now. I read somewhere that only when you say goodbye, then can you meet again. Love you all.